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Archive for April, 2010

I was doing my daily patrolling of the halls at the jr high today. I normally stand right outside of the ISS room. Today I saw a boy I know exiting the class when the bell rang. He walked up to another boy in the hallway. The second boy, let’s call him John, asked “what did you do to get in there?”  Steve, again a made up name to protect the guilty, said “I did this to a kid” as he made a fist and almost punched the boy in the face. He came within about 2 inches of hitting him and laughed. John seemed startled but laughed with his friend, Steve.  I was standing by the ISS teacher.

I have heard many times from students that the ISS room is fun (less work, smaller classes and not as much work). This apparently is nothing new as my college freshman said it was that way when she was there too.

I mentioned the interaction to the ISS teacher. I said “I still don’t think that John is getting much from being in ISS.”

She said they’d discussed his discipline with him and hoped it was getting through to him.  I said “obviously not if he’s bragging to Steve.”

It wasn’t until I got in the car with my son that I found out he was the one who was nearly punched today. He was the reason that John was in ISS and the one he was laughing about nearly punching.

Silly me. I thought I was standing up for another child…not my own again!

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Will decided to do a little artwork around the backyard. His norm is to not admit to anything.

At first I noticed the fence with a nicely painted Smiley face. His only comment was  “I’m working on my Graffiti” when I asked where it had come from that day.

Where did he get the spray paint? Good question. That one took me a few days to figure out. Turns out he “borrowed” it from the neighbor.

We also have a car parked in our yard. Hubby says one day he’ll sell it or get rid of it. It’s still there 5 years later. Will did a little artwork on it as well. He also tagged the garage.

Any sane person would say “gee, how did he have time to do all of that with nobody noticing?” Keep in mind he’s sneaky and very fast!

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domino hunt of April 2010!

I was putting out the trash cans this morning. I saw a domino. I knew I’d
just bought a box of them for the necklaces I make. Um, yeah, these were the
same ones I’d just bought (colored dots so very different).

Hm, there’s another one. I walked a little more and saw them lining my driveway. I’m
walking up the driveway in my socks picking up dominos and trying to hold
them all in my hands. Of course I’m cussing under my breath the entire way up the drive. Oops, there’s
another one in the neighbor’s yard. I got almost to the fence when I started
wondering if any neighbors were watching the hunt and if so just what would
they think I was doing!
Maybe they’re jealous because I was obviously finding something worthy of hunting!

I started giggling and couldn’t stop.
No clue why Will needed to make a domino path in the yard but it gave me a
laugh. Will has no idea why they needed to be in the yard and driveway but he thought it was nice of me to pick them up. Probably so he can put them all back out there tomorrow.

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I’ve been dealing with bullying in our school with my son for years now. This year (JR HIGH) has been the worst ever. I’ve been trying to get the situation under control since August and nothing has changed.

I started an anti bullying group but not much has come of it as of yet.
I’m on a list for parents of children with disabilities and received a link for another group in town. Parents against bullying. Yippee. Finally someone who thinks like we do!

Well, it’s just starting out. Sort of like my group. Just not sure how to make people sit up and take notice. A few weeks ago a parent went to the media and put her daughter on the news. She has been fighting the bullying for 3 years since her daughter started at the jr high. Oh, great, people were talking about the bullying. I was so sure something would come of it. So far nothing. The talk has died down and things are back to usual.

How do you help your special needs child understand that people are just mean? Today I was working as a chaperone and a boy said to me “those boys at my table are calling me gay.” I asked why he didn’t change tables if they weren’t being nice. I even went as far as to suggest a table for him. His answer was “I can’t sit with her, they’ll call me a retard for sitting with the retards.” I said “surely you didn’t mean to say that to me, right?” His answer then was “that’s what we call them because they ride the short bus”

It was all I could do to find a coach to help him with his name calling situation. He didn’t see any similarity in what he did and what his bullies were doing. I think I did remarkably well considering this is a child who has punched my child in the face and arm this year already.

The coach later came up to chat and said “you know he brings it on himself because he’s just as bad as they are.”

When will it stop? The school was getting sort of bad a few years ago. I went to the then principal and assistant principal and asked what we could do. Their answers to me were that the school was “not that bad” the bullying “was not out of control” and as far as the known gang members on campus “we mostly have wannabes.”

Since that time things have escalated and we’re in awful shape. Oh, on the surface it’s wonderful. If you were to walk into the school on a day that the police were not parked in front you’d want to move in and put your child in school immediately. However, if you do your research, talk to other parents, talk to other students and just keep your eyes open you’ll soon realize how far from wonderful we are.

I just wonder if I’d pushed more back then if it would be better now.

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Just a day

My son has Asperger’s Syndrome. He is considered high functioning autistic with cerebral palsy.

His cerebral palsy makes him slower to run and think. He just learned to jump with both feet off the ground at the age of 10. We were so happy for him! His MRIs show the majority of his scarring is in his frontal lobe which affects his impulse control.

He has been bullied since starting junior high this year. Yes, he was bullied before that. In elementary school he was hit, punched, choked and threatened on a weekly basis. The school administrators assured me he was friends with the students who were abusing him so really nothing was done. I think this contributed to his inability to distinguish between friend and foe.

We started Jr High this year hoping for some change. My daughters went through the same school with the normal bullying episodes but nothing like what I’d seen with my son at elementary.  The very first day of school a boy threatened to kill my son. Not off to such a great start.

That was August. It is now April and not much has changed.

Recently, the students have started calling him names. One girl in particular has taken it upon herself to have everyone she knows call him the same name. He’s devastated. How can I help him understand how things work? How can I make him understand when his brain won’t let him?

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Hello world!

Everyone says I should write about those things that happen each and every day in our lives. I live it so I don’t see the humor in what happens until much later. Okay, so sometimes I see the humor as things happen.

This is my blog about all that goes on around here. First, a little introduction. I am a happily married mom of 3 wonderful children. My eldest, Caitlin, is in college studying culinary arts. She graduated high school in June and moved out in August. My middle child, Libby, is our theatrical child. Her goal in life is “to be famous.” For real.  My youngest, Will, is the subject of most of my stories. He is a special needs child. His diagnosis include but are not limited to: Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD, OCD, Epilepsy and Cerebral Palsy. He is also the reason I now am a stay at home mom.

I enjoy couponing, saving money, great deals, freebies, contests, volunteering, photography, cooking, scrapbooking and pretty much anything else you throw at me.

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