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Archive for September, 2011

To those who want to chastise me for trying to what’s best for my son please just try on these Tom’s. I’ll gladly give them to you for however long you’d like to wear them. When was the last time you had to stay awake because you were afraid of what your son would do if you slept? When was the last time you got sick to your stomach at the thought of how people treated your special needs child? Are you enjoying having to meet with his teachers each year just so they know what to expect? How did it go when you had to meet with the Home Ec teacher to let her know he has a tendency to take knives and scissors? Did you stomach do a flip flop when they suggested he be removed from his favorite class based on what he might do? Are the arches getting a little tight on those Tom’s yet? Are your friends with neurotypical children shunning you because your child is different? Do they “get” why you have to do the things you have to do? Oh, it look like you’re getting a bit of a blister there. How long has it been since you went out with friends? Or, even with just your husband? Oh, those shoes are getting tighter, aren’t they?
How’s the stomach doing when you find out another child is having a birthday party that your child is the only one in the class who wasn’t invited? Or, how about the unimagined yet totally true case where a parent called to let you know his child HAD to give yours an invite because of school rules but they really don’t want him there. Maybe some socks would help that chill you get when you don’t know where your child is because they lack the understanding of who a stranger is. I’m not asking you to walk a mile. Just stop and think about what I might be dealing with when you want to lash out at me for being overly protective.
I was chastised today because I do meet with my child’s teachers at the start of each year. I like to let them know what to expect from him and what to look for in seizures and that sort of thing. I went to my meeting today feeling totally defeated. It was as if every bit of air had been sucked from my body and I was just a limp shell of myself. I did try to communicate with the teacher about the seizures and the likelihood that he would walk out with a knife or something equally dangerous. Not because he has plans but he just can’t help himself. As I sat there with assistant principals and the teacher staring at me I was reminded of how I was told by this parent of a neurotypical child that I should try staying away from the school and let things happen as they should. I realized at that moment (okay, I’ve realized it before but never quite this unexpectedly) that I would never again be a “regular” parent. I was a “regular” parent for years but now I’m not. I’ll never again be the “regular” parent who can just let things sort themselves out. I have to sit and listen to the administrators and teachers decide how to handle my child, how to keep others safe from him and what the plan is for the year. So, tell me..how are those Tom’s feeling right about now? Enjoy your shoes. I hope they’re a bit more comfy for you.

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