I lost my best friend and husband a little over a year ago. He has missed so much in the past year.
We had a few lovely moments such as the birth of our second grandchild and milestones with the first. We also had quite a few big changes and adventures. We had to rebuild the garage (termites), put in a new air conditioner, get a new refrigerator (which resulted in a flooded kitchen floor), get a new washer and dryer (twice.. don’t ask), and due to a leaky sunroof had to replace all the electrical in the car. I lost my mom a few months ago. Oh, and the week long snowstorm with no electricity or water.
Through the year I gained a new appreciation for widows. I know several but never really understood the enormity of the title. I will never ignore a widow. I may not know the right words to say but a few words are so much better than not speaking. It seems that well wishers either tell you “he’s in a better place” or “You will get over this.” I talked to each of the widows I know and apologized for not having a clue what they were going through. I wish I had done more. From now on, should I be confronted with it, I will.
People have either stuck by me or abandoned me. I have been surprised by some I thought would always be there for me.
My son never notices anything but he has really come through this year. He knows when I need a hug. He has been awesome. He’s been the one child who’s been there for me which is a total shock. I wish I could say the girls have been but they have lives and they don’t approve of me.
The in-laws have disappeared with the exception of the nieces and nephews. I don’t know if it’s that they loved him so much that they feel the need to keep up with me or if they are just kind peopled. But, they certainly were raised right and have meant the world to me.
My family has been wonderful but they always have been. We’re pretty tight knit. My close friends have been wonderful. A few check on me daily. I’ve probably been way too honest with them but you have to be with someone!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been close to giving up when a message or phone call came in at the right moment. My friends are the best and can drag me back to real life.
I miss him each and every day. The pain has lessened a bit but not much. Advice to new widows? Invest in cases of tissues, keep your family close, talk to your friends and just do what you need to do to survive.
Nobody would believe this blog 